It
was a long process. In 2006, we began the procedure for adopting a
child from China. We did quite a bit of research on adoption agencies,
and after we chose one to work
with, we completed their application process. After being accepted into
the program, we started what's often referred to as the "paper chase."
We had three homestudy visits from social workers, during which time the
social workers inspected our house and asked
us all kinds of intrusive and personal questions about our
experiences growing up, work life, family life, marriage, parenting
philosophies, health history, religious beliefs, etc. We also had to
complete a "self-study," which was a written account of those
things listed above. We had to complete forms related to our finances.
We had to have our employers complete letters that stated our incomes
and job security. Our physician had to complete physical forms for us
and comment on our general physical and mental
health. All of those written forms had to be signed by us and by a
notary public, and then we had to send the forms away to be
authenticated by the state government (to assure that the notaries were
actually notaries). We had to complete an adoption course,
which we were able to do online. We had to have a background check
completed and had to be finger printed. (All in all, I had to be
fingerprinted five times, which involved four trips to the Federal
Building in Des Moines.) Our paperwork was logged into China's
program on 9/29/2006. When we began the process, the length of time
between the log-in date and being matched with a child was 8-10 months.
We waited. Our U.S. government paper work expired, so we had to re-file that and get fingerprinted
again.
The
China program slowed down substantially. After about a year and a half
of waiting, we decided to pursue other options. It took us a long time
to research other adoption
programs, and we were concerned about making sure our adoption would be
an ethical one. We considered Vietnam's program, as we knew someone who
had gone through that process, but just as we were beginning the paper
work, the U.S. government shut down the program.
We decided to apply to a domestic adoption program. We had to complete a
new self-study and have the social worker make another homestudy visit.
We had to create a "profile," which essentially was a scrapbook about
our lives that expectant birth parents could
look at as they were considering which adoptive parents they would
choose for their child.
We
waited. The agency we were now using would occasionally send out e-mail
messages about special cases of children who were difficult to place
with adoptive parents due to
health concerns or due to a failure to locate a birth father (which
meant that if the the birth father did show up later, he could refuse to
allow the adoption to occur, which is a big legal risk for adoptive
parents). In June of 2009, we received a message
about a child in the agency's Ethiopian program. This 10-month-old
infant had been matched with a family, but the adoption didn't go
through. We decided to pursue adoption of this child, who was named
Haile Michael. Although several families had expressed an
interest in adopting Haile, the agency gave us the opportunity to do so
because we had been waiting in their domestic adoption program the
longest--we had been waiting for over a year.
We
had to fill out even more paper work. We also received some medical
information about Haile, which we sent to the University of Minnesota's
International Adoption Clinic.
They reviewed the information for us to let us know if there were any
issues we should be concerned about. We had to have yet another visit
from our social worker and more updates to our financial information. We
had to complete another "self-study" as well.
An attorney in Ethiopia represented us in court, so we had to complete
paper work related to that.
In
January, 2010, we traveled to Ethiopia. On our first full day there, we
met Haile. On the second day, we visited him again in the orphanage. He
was very, very quiet. On
the third day, the orphanage director brought Haile to our hotel and he
was with us for the rest of the trip. We had a US Embassy appointment.
Then we came home on an 18-hour plane trip.
Since
returning home with Haile, we've had three additional post-placement
visits from our social worker. We had to re-adopt Haile in the US. Each
year until Haile is 18,
we'll complete an annual report, complete with photos of Haile.
And, we're still waiting to be matched with a child from China. It's been five years since our log-in
date in that program.
What was the hardest part of the process?
It's probably a tie between the waiting and the complicated paper work.
What is your favorite memory from the process?
The first night in our hotel room as a family. Haile was shy and timid, but he smiled and was playful.
He was exhausted and slept between us, and we spent a couple hours just watching him sleep.
Was your child in foster care before you adopted them?
No. Haile had lived in three orphanages. The last one was officially a "transition" house, which housed 20 children.
No. Haile had lived in three orphanages. The last one was officially a "transition" house, which housed 20 children.
Have you or do you plan to talk to your child about the adoption?
Yes,
he is proud that he is Ethiopian, and we tell him the story of the
adoption process and our trip.
We've talked a little bit about his birth family, but he's more
interested at this point in hearing stories about the three of us.
Why did you choose to adopt children?
We've
always been concerned about overpopulation, and we knew we would be
able to love and nurture
a child who wasn't biologically related to us. Chris and I also agreed
that we didn't feel a need to parent a newborn child. We considered
having a biological child, but once we started researching adoption, it
really felt like the best choice for our family.
Are there any media (books, movies, etc) related to adoption that you use for either you or your
child?
Not at this point, but we have some on hand to use later.
Are/were there any support groups (or something similar) that you are a part of?
Yes.
I connected with a group of people who were (and are) adopting from
China. Some of them pursued
adoption through other programs, some of them adopted special needs
children from China, and some of them, like us, are still waiting. We
continue to keep in touch with families we traveled with, and there's
also a group of families in the Cedar Valley who
have adopted from Ethiopia that we see on occasion.
How did you decide where to adopt your child from?
We first decided on China because we knew other people who had adopted through that program. In the
end, it was by chance that we went to Ethiopia.
What do you do to incorporate your child's culture into their life?
We
have several books about Ethiopia that Haile loves to read. He watches
videos of Ethiopian dancing,
and we listen to Ethiopian music. We attempt to make Ethiopian food, and
we go to Minneapolis several times a year (there's a large Ethiopian
population there). We also are fortunate that Wartburg has so many
international students from Ethiopia.
*Lindsay
